A down type of day...

I love that people are quick to tell me that I'm allowed to have down days still.

No, that wasn't sarcasm. I think sometimes I need to be reminded that I don't always have to have an iron front.

I spend a lot of energy telling my story and keeping a straight face, the perfect front. I spend a lot of energy to act as though I'm perfectly, 100% fine.

I also do this around people I don't get along with, but that's a discussion for another day.

I just can't help but feel like a bit of a failure. I know I'm not past my prime. I know people have children all the time, who are older than me.

But all this has been this crazy sort of kick in the face reminder that life is not everlasting.

It's official....

Dr. P confirmed it as PCOS. I'm relieved that I have an answer, but sad because to correct this, I'm now officially on birth control. The dreaded BC. I know, in the long run, this will help things, but I can't help but feel a little defeated that, at least for now, I won't be getting my BFP anytime soon....