I will admit, I have felt very sorry for myself today. I've cried a few times today. But what makes me cry the most is knowing that I was so very blessed to have held my sweet little girl. As badly as it scared me, I'm glad she gasped for air. Because it means, if only for a few minutes, I got to see her move. I don't have to have only memories of her being so eerily still.
I'm not a religious person, but a part of me believes that I would not have been given the gift of being a mother if I didn't deserve it. Even if it was only for a few moments.
The part that KILLS me, though, is not being able to hold her ever again.