Saturday, July 18, 2009

I'm getting super frustrated....

So, welcome to day 41. What a pain in the ass. LOL!

See, here's my issue. I'm torn between wanting a positive, and wanting to wait another month or two to get this as of yet unexplained blood sugar problem I have under control. (I'm pretty dang sure, based on how I've been feeling lately, that I'm going to be handed a blood sugar monitor at my doctor's appointment next weekend).

The waiting is what's killing me. I can handle a negative. Hell, I've had three negatives in the last week. (Yes, I am obsessively testing). And I've felt not a twinge of anything when I see the negatives.

But with no sign of AF, I am starting to feel broken. Or... like, incomplete. Like a sentence with no period

See? Isn't that annoying? It's not the end of the world, but looking at that sentence, doesn't it make you want to draw a lil dot on your computer screen? ;)

I would just like some sort of definitive end to this cycle. I really don't want to get AF too late in the month, because, well, wouldn't that be some shit, being all moody and CRABBY on 7/31/2009....

And speaking of... the day is fast approaching. I'm not sure how that's affecting me yet. It's SO SCARY to think that right now, I would be :::GASP::: 38 weeks pregnant. I know in my heart I'll be a mom some day, but the reality of the fact that I'm fast approaching 30 is setting in.

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