I feel like maybe I should admit what is still weighing on my mind... let it out and let it go. For example...
A year ago, I heard, for the first and only time, Patrick's heartbeat. I cried. And AFTER the doctor took away the Doppler, she said we could have recorded it on our cell phones. And I said, "Hey, that's an awesome idea, we should do that at the next appointment!"
How fitting that the next appointment was scheduled the same day Patrick was born.
Lesson learned: Never say "next time". You have no idea if there will be one.
There's more, but I need to pull it together before I post anything, seeing as how thinking about this is causing major tears right now.