Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I'm not as bad as it sounds...

I know there are a lot of people worried about me, after the things I posted yesterday. Let me be clear I'm pretty lever headed about the whole thing. I don't break down and cry every 5 minutes, I'm not going to kill myself, I'm really, truly ok. I mean, what other choice do I have? Let it consume me, and think all those things I talked about yesterday, all the time, every day?

I'm no stronger than anyone else, emotionally... I'm just strong enough to make the choice to move forward.

The things I said yesterday were things that DO go through my mind. When people tell me they're here for me if I need to talk, those are the things I WANT to say. The problem is that I also don't want to say those things out loud. They're pretty dark, pretty morbid, pretty disturbing. That was just a vent from the dark part of my soul, right now.

But really, 95% of the time, I'm doing ok. Have no fear. I don't give up that easily. I will move forth, and soon be pregnant again. I'm still determined to have enough kids to take over the world. ;o)

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