Monday, April 6, 2009

I'm still amazed.

It's like a light switch, that some unseen force controls. One minute, I'm fine, the next, I am miserable. I'm dealing well with losing Patrick but not with the lack of answers. I want to be around people and laugh again, have fun, but the minute the opportunity is presented to me, I go into panic mode and can't fathom actually leaving the house. But then I've done my hair and makeup more in the last few weeks for work than I have the rest of the time I've worked here.

My poor brain just needs a break, I think.

I'm back on my diet, but not sticking to it very well. Baby steps, right? I need to start working out but there's a lack of space at our house and since Chicago gets SNOW IN APRIL, walking is not yet an option. This weekend is supposed to be nicer, perhaps I can start then.

Just feeling a lot lately like my life has no purpose. At all.


  1. Baby steps, Jamie. Your friends will still be here when you are ready. :)

    And your new hair is beautiful.

  2. I went through a missed miscarriage at 10w 3d. I know this is nothing like what you went through, but I also started doing my hair and makeup more than I ever have afterward. Weird. I hope things start looking up for you.