Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Trying to keep a record, for myself if anything else...

Today I spoke with both a counselor and a nurse. I am set up to go in to Evanston Hospital at 9:30am tomorrow morning (well, now today), Wednesday, March 18th. We will have an exam, and medical history, then talk to a counselor again, and then go to Labor and Delivery, where they will begin the induction.

I hope, for you, my sweet little baby, that things go smoothly. That there is no pain. That you are finally able to be free, to not be cramped and constricted.

I can't wait to find out if you are a boy or a girl, if you've daddy's nose, or my eyes. I can't wait to see you with my own eyes and see that I was right - that you are perfect in every way, and just not ready to be with us now. i want to see your 10 fingers, and 10 toes, and be amazed at how tiny and yet how complete you are.

But really, I just want this to be over and know that you are ok.

I love you so very much, little one. And I always will. I thought I loved you when I got my positive pregnancy test, but it really happened when I heard your heart beating for the first time.

I will never, ever forget you.

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